Life is Beautiful

I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
-Marilyn Monroe




I am so happy with this family. Today they told me I was the third child and it made me smile :). I love that we talk, that they get me diet coke just because I don't like regular, and that they pay attention to me and include me in conversations. I love them so so much. Of course, now I have no friends. Haha. The devil sucks, does he not? I'm moved away from everyone I had become close to the first four months, and I won't lie, it is hard seeing their pictures and comments on facebook knowing that they probably don't even miss me. At first I had Lucy and Pedro, two Aussie exchangers that only stayed for 2 months, but they left yesterday after I had only known them a week. My hope is that for one, more Aussie exchangers come (which I think will happen soon), and two, that I make better friends with the people in Maria's class. I really love the class, they are all super nice people. The problem is, I never see them outside of school. In school (omg, the most boring thing I have ever experienced) they are busy doing work and I am busy being bored so we can't get to know each other well. After school all they do (including Maria) is study literally all day, then complain about not studying enough. It's really quite terrible. So gone are the days of going out with friends and getting gelato and making plans and here are the days of loneliness. Also, today because it's Saturday I went out with Maria and a few of her friends. I was so bored! All they talk about is school school school. The conversations they had other than that did not include me. Things like "who can name the most Italian philosophers" and "finish this Neapolitan song lyric". Yeah, thanks, but they is so excluding. So my only real hopes are that next time more of her friends come and I click with someone, or more Australians come so I can make my own friends. I've been incredibly lonely the past few days. I'm going to try and make that a good thing, more time with God, more time studying, more self reflection, more time with host family. But now in the adjustion it's just hard. So if you read this, pray for me. Other than that I think I'm doing pretty well. I think I am finally starting to get over culture shock which is what I realize I've been having this past month of december and half of January. I didn't realize when I was going through it but now I'm starting to see. Eating a ton, sleeping a ton, being antisocial, feeling homesick, etc. I was really just going through something normal. But finally it's going away. I'm getting more confident with my Italian- I really think I feel a breakthrough coming in a week or two! Also, I just realize everyday, even when I'm sad, how much I love this country. So absolutely much. I love seeing Vesuvius from my window, cobblestones, the food, Neapolitan traditions, and just the all around culture. I've also realized just how gorgeous Italian really is, I love hearing it whether I understand it or not. It's fabulous. I love how loud everyone is when it's not necessary. I love how people don't even try to hid their feelings- good or bad. I love how passionate people are about things great and small. I love how much they care about pleasure, family, and la bella figura. I love their sense of tradition, and the perspective here that doesn't seem to exist in America- that life is beautiful and should be enjoyed. I was always taught that life is useful. A path to heaven, a responsibility, something you have to go through, make as much money as you can then die, work hard- harder!, don't even be lazy, after you reach 5 years old you're done with naps!, push yourself to be skinnier, more intelligent, wiser, better, better, better. Explode! Here, none of that really exists and it's soooooo nice. People just enjoy life. They like conversation, food, and napping. They value fashion, family, and vacations. I'm not saying I want to have an all Italian perspective because I've seen the downside too (selfishness, laziness, ignorance) but I think I can find a balance between the two worlds, and I'm so thankful to God for enlightening me on this.

New Beginnings

The only difference between our secrets is whether we allow them to develop into tales of heroism or fear -PostSecret




Well this is going to be long... the entire month of December. Well, basically it sucked. Something I failed to mention earlier was that the first week I got here Martina let me know that she had read some iffy messages and she thought that her dad might be cheating on her mom. Knowing her as the slight drama queen she is, I opted for the "you must be overreacting, benefit of the doubt option". Wrong. It was true, and my host family started fighting way more than usual. My host mom wouldn't eat with us, my host dad would turn up MTV all the way in our small apartment to annoy and let the rest of us know how angry he was (real mature, right?) Martina became even more depressed than usual (that's REALLY depressed) and it was just an all around bad situation. I told Martina after a particularly explosive night (where she literally screamed at me in the middle of Caserta over a hair straightener) that, especially since I'm already dealing with a divorce back in the US, I really couldn't handle this. She was really really sorry already for being mad at me, and told me that she agreed I should switch after the holidays. It was really, really bad. In hindsight, the divorce was a blessing to me (horribly), because it gave me a tangible excuse to get out of what I had been denying the entire time I've been in Italy.. that my host family was not a good one. They seriously ALWAYS screamed at each other, cussed each other out, absolutely no respect and no visible love at all. we never did anything together ever unless there was a specific reason, and it would always be horrible if we did because they would fight the entire time. during the 2 week break from school just to get away I would purposefully stay up until 5am just so that I would sleep until 4pm and get away from everything. Over Christmas we went to my host moms relatives house in Naples (host dad didn't come, Martina cried) but overall it was pretty good. they gave my gifts which was really really sweet, and I gave them gifts. Mostly we just slept like we usually did. New Years my friend Alessia had a party and that was a lot of fun. We didn't get to sleep until 6am :) I moved host families on January 3rd. I was actually very depressed when I moved because I realized how much I had gotten used to and loved Martina and (well, sounds stupid but) the house. I moved to Maddaloni (a suburb of Caserta, where my previous school was, about 5-10 minutes away) which is more ghetto, and I had never met my new host family before. I didn't know the next time I would get to see Caserta, a city I truly truly love and think is absolutely gorgeous. I still miss so so much Francesca, and going around the city with her and Alessia and Chiara and Martina. Eating gelato at our favorite places, knowing our way around, hot hall, the big supermarket, the random performers in the street, the hundreds of shops and lights. Maddaloni is small, doesn't really have a main street like that and (while it does have the ruines of a medieval castle) certainly does not have La Reggia! But when I changed I soon found out how necessary it was. My new host family is the complete opposite of my previous one. I have a host sister , 18 in April, Maria. A host brother 14, Clemente. My host mom is a nurse named Anna. My host dad an engineer, Lorenzo. The first thing I noticed about them is how much they laugh. They sincerely enjoy each others company. They all sit in the tv room together almost all day, even if they dont talk they just like to be around each other. They include my in conversations, ask my opinion on things, and Maria told me that they are very very close. Sooo strange for me, because I have never, ever been in a family even remotely like that before. Families for me have always been like Martina's. I think that's why I never really noticed how bad it was when I was there... I was used to it already. And sometimes I don't know how to act around these people. I mean, lately I have grown infinitely more close with God and I have been a lot happier and more relaxed than ever before, but I still don't really know how to act in a family like this. I think it will be a good thing to learn. Also, I have my own room! Clemente moved in with Maria because they insisted that I have my own room because they know how difficult it is to be on exchange and sometimes you just need your own place (seriously, how great are they??) That's another thing, Maria went on a 3 month exchange to Australia where various situations arose and she ended up switching hosts 4 times. So she really gets this. However, the family speaks almost NO English at all, unlike the Catalano house where I ALWAYS spoke English. I have spoken more in the past 2 days then I have in the past 3 months. It's so great! The new house is actually gorgeous, no elevator forces me to exercise when your 4 or 5 floors up. But it is soo nice. Big rooms, probably bigger than my house in America but way different as its a flat. Ironically, one of the things I was going to miss most about my other home was my view from my window. I have the same view! God gave me a house and bedroom facing the exact same way but this time, I can see Vesuvius very clearly (it's sooo close!) :) Maria really loves her class at school (a scientifico school) she took me to a birthday party of one of the girls tonight so I got to meet them all. They were so sweet. Sometimes Maria even left me alone (Martina would never let me leave her) so I was forced to speak and dance with peopled and get to know them. They were amazed that I hadn't been to Rome and said that they would take me soon, for sure before I left because they wouldn't let me leave without seeing it! It was really cool. Also, Maria's best friend is on exchange in Austria so I think in April we are going to visit her! So I feel very, very blessed. New Year, new beginnings. <3

Do you speak English?

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not- Anonymous



Today was a really good day. In the morning, we got up early to go to Naples for some sort of Military event (I still have no idea what it was about). My host brother, Matteo, went to a Military boarding school last year, but was unable to go this year after a skiing accident. Though, they still consider him alumni so he was part of the event, I think my family would have gone anyway, they are very into Military like stuff which is cool I guess, since my American family at home isn't really at all. Anyways, we went to Naples that morning, the main square in Naples was half barred off for the even and there were 4 or 5 hundred people in the crowd. We watched for 2 or so hours (it was quite boring actually), and afterward my host family decided to get pizza. However, for those of you that don't know, Naples is the 3rd most populated city in Italy and it is almost impossible to find parking, also, my family took forever to decide where to eat. But what was really cool was walking and driving around because I got to see a lot of everyday Naples, not just downtown touristy parts. My host mom is Neapolitan and she pointed at her old school and different places, my host dad several times would say "che bella, la mia Napoli" (in English, you would say something like "how beautiful my Naples is" though that's not literally what it means). We ended up in a back street pizzeria, amazing, and after my host mom showed me these odd apartments called "bassi" (short), which are apartments that are on the bottom of the apartment complex, and sometimes even go underground. The people don't have balconies so they hang their clothes up across the street! When I got home, a little while later I went out with Francesca again and we went "in giro di Caserta" again, like always. This time a lot of Christmas lights were up and lit, there was also a parade and a small carnival for one area for children where they were playing Christmas carols and songs like YMCA. We ate gelato and cornetta con nutella (croissants with nutella). I finally bought Martina a birthday present, a ring and a pen from the Hello Kitty store, EVERYONE is obsessed with Hello Kitty here, and a notebook with "sorella" (sister) quotes in it. The funniest thing that happened was about 45 minutes before we were going home, because Francesca was eating with us that night (Italians usually don't eat dinner until 8 or 9 at night). We went to what we call The American Bar, because they sell American-ish food, and two boys asked us to sit with them. I'm not talking about anything romantic, haha, it was just nice to meet new people, even if they only want to be your friend because you speak English. Some serious laughter ensued after they told us we looked bigger (they meant older) and made fun of us for the balloons we were carrying around (we had bought them just a few minutes before for our host sisters, mine was shaped like Hello Kitty). After wards, we went home and Martina had bought and made us hot dogs! They were pretty amazing. It was a very beautiful day, indeed.